Hey trick,

You’ve been waiting to catch up for awhile now haven’t you? A lot has happened in the past nineteen years. I’ve got to admit though, since you moved to San Diego you went through more in the past three years than any other time. I’m not gonna sit here and lecture you though. You knew what you were doing. It’s just those moments where you just don’t give a fuck. But it’s not going to work out every time. Slow down a bit. Take a breather. Inhale. Exhale. You good? Alright. You got this, birthday girl. You still got a lot coming to you.

Love,
Andrea Lee Avila Ballon

To whom it may concern,

There isn’t an individual that I tell everything to nor do I plan on telling one person everything. It’s not that I’m afraid, it’s because I don’t think there is one person that will fully understand everything I go through. I tell certain people certain things. There are just some things that’s easier to tell to different people. It’s easier to put in words that will make someone understand if it was only them. Not everyone is going to get it. And there is only so much you can put onto one person. I really think telling every single thing to one person is a little too much pressure. But I guess if they can handle keeping all your secrets, at least you’ll know who said something once it spreads.

Let’s converse sometime,
AJ

Dear reader,

Since first impressions are important to some people they might come off as friendly when you first meet them. There is probably hundreds of people I’ve met and seen for only one day. And trying to leave off on a good note, they might be friendly. I would have no idea if they were a bitch on any other day. I mean there are certain types of people: the bitchy looking bitch, the friendly looking bitch, the bitchy looking person that’s actually nice, and the friendly looking person that is actually friendly. It varies. But thanks for giving me your best, strangers I only knew for a day. It was nice meeting you.

Sincerely,
AJ

Dear everyone I have ever come in contact with,

You all have changed my life in some manner. Whether small or big. There’s this saying that goes, “The one thing that can change a person, is meeting another.” And I believe that. It’s the people you see and meet around you that influence your choices. Even if it’s ultimately your decision, you’ve weighed the choices either by experience or seen something similar decided by other people. But that’s just my opinion. Thank you for giving me a chance to become a better person.

Love,
AJ

To whom it may concern,

I don’t remember the last time I made a pinky promise. Since I’ve met Simon I’ve been doing middle finger promises. Middle finger promise means, “I fucking promise.” Because if secrets don’t make friends, they definitely make best friends.

Sincerely,
AJ

Dear Crazyassbitch,

I can’t really say that you’re going through the worst of times. But every time I do see you, you look like you’re not having much of a good time. You make it seem like you’re going through so much and at same time you’re not. Stop fronting. Either you’re hurt or your not. No one’s going to know how you really feel until you actually say what you mean and mean what you say. None of this other bullshit. If you truly feel a certain way you should let people know because not everyone is going to understand your hints.

I hope you find what you’re looking for,
AJ

Dear slut,

You made me realize how much I depend on you. I remember hella crying, and I don’t know why but you were the first one I called. I couldn’t get the words out. But when all you said was, “I’m picking you up, where are you?” I knew I had to keep you around. You proved to me that I really do have friends that got me. Even when it’s 11 o’clock at night on a weekday and I’m crying so hard that I’m choking on my words. Thank you for trying to take me anywhere that you thought would take my mind off things. For thinking of places you knew would cheer me up. You really didn’t have to take me anywhere actually. I just needed your company, anyone’s company. I’m really glad I made the decision in calling you.

I truly appreciate you,
AJ

Moshimoshi last kiss,

Your lips were soft. What kind of chapstick do you use?

AJ

Hey Felarca,

I’ve finally decided to get over it. I will always need you. I see you trying your hardest everyday. I won’t lose you over something that happened seven years ago. We’re family. All day, everyday.

Love,
AJ

Attention general public,

I judge everyone by their first impression. That doesn’t necessarily mean there is no room for change. Sometimes first impressions are the wrong impressions. It’s only throughout more time with one another that I can have a full judgement of you. I know I don’t usually give good first impressions. But people give me a second chance, maybe even more.

It would be a pleasure to meet you,
AJ

Dear future significant other(s),

I have yet to have my heart broken. I’m pretty sure I haven’t broken anyone’s heart either. But, I’m ready. If anything I need a little heartbreak to give me a perspective on relationships. I think it’s something someone should experience at least once. Unless you’re lucky enough to have one person the rest of your life that will never hurt you.

Sincerely,
AJ

Dear general public,

There isn’t an individual that constantly pesters my mind, good or bad. There’s always a different person depending on my mood and day. It could possibly be you. Whether I’ve heard something about you, or if I’m with you. Good memories or maybe I’m being annoyed. It varies.

Get out of my mind,
AJ

Dear possible future self,

I have hope that you’ll have gotten everything together. That all the mistakes I’ve made and still making were worth it. When you do have everything together, don’t become a swearbear. Get over yourself. You’ll still have room to improve. Always. There’s always something that can change. Then accept it. Accept that some things can’t stay the same. When you feel that there is need for change, do it. Don’t hesitate. I’m constantly holding back; but you, you can’t do that. Not anymore. Stop worrying too much about other people. Do you first. Oh, but you can still have fun. Party as much as you want. I can’t take all the fun away from you. Balance is key though. I think I’m doing a little too much. Also, eat a little healthier, smoke a little less, and show some more emotion. I’ve heard people actually care about how you’re feeling. Good or bad.

You got this,
AJ

Hey Mr. Steve,

You were a big part of my growing up. I’m glad I had the pleasure of meeting you. You were a 2nd dad to me. Thank you for treating me as your own kid. There’s so much I have learned from you. I swear I wouldn’t have been as polite and nice as I am if it weren’t for you. You showed me how it can come a long way if you just treated people the right way. I get told that I’m really chill and nice and it’s all you. I get it from you. Really. I would love to tell you all this in person. Just so I can thank you personally. I don’t know how I’d turn out without you.

Love,
AJ

Dear bitch,

Come visit already.

Yeah that,
AJ